Do You Feel What I Feel?
by librarynerd
Summary: Written for the Callie-Arizona LJ 2013 Secret Santa. For: I Fly Solo. Their friends had had enough; "fix it or finalize it," they were told as they were banished to the cabin in the middles of the words for Christmas with their daughter in tow. With vulnerabilities at an all-time high, will they find the true meaning of Christmas in each other again? NSFW


Title: Do You Feel What I Feel?

Author: nerdfightergirl and donteatblue

Pairing: Callie/Arizona, also featuring Sofia

Rating: NC-17

Summary: I combined two of the possible prompts

*Canon - Callie and Arizona are having better and better conversations and they're getting the help they need. Their marriage is back on the right track, but they're both still a little nervous at Christmas. Neither is sure quite what to do for the other to make it extra special. Whatever rating the author is comfortable with is fine.

*Good, old-fashioned smut. Christmas/winter-themed or not; canon or not.

Disclaimer: I am very glad to say that I don't own Grey's Anatomy or these characters. This is purely for enjoyment and I am not making any money from it.

Author's Note: This is divided into three posts only because it was too long to post as a single entry. It is meant to be read as one continuous story.

* * *

They'd been bickering for days. It wasn't any one big thing, but a million little things all coming together. Working things out after infidelity and the resulting separation was exhausting and stressful, on top of them both having jobs which are exhausting and stressful. Everything little thing became a fight. All the tasks they had perfectly split up had all fallen apart when they were apart and lining them back up wasn't as simple as just going back to the way things were before.

So they fought. And in an effort to keep Sofia from seeing them constantly fighting, they did most of their disagreeing in lounges and on-call rooms at the hospital. Which led to situations like the one they were in, staring at each other in stalemate, both fuming as they refused to compromise. They were still angry a few minutes later when the other members of the board entered the lounge with less than amused looks on their faces. It was Owen who finally broke the silence. "This has to stop. You guys can't keep fighting all over the hospital."

"So we made a plan," Derek continued. "We rented a cabin about an hour and a half away from here. We've got your surgeries covered for the next four days. There's food, beds, blankets, everything you'll need except your clothes and Christmas gifts."

"Gee, thanks for sparing me the image of you rifling through my underwear," Arizona snarked.

"Do not come back until you've either fixed this or filed for divorce," Owen continued, ignoring Arizona's comment and expected attitude.

"And if we refuse?" Callie challenged, not keen on the idea of spending four days in isolation with Arizona, even with Sofia acting as a buffer.

"No refusing. You're going. End of story," Meredith said authoritatively standing her ground.

Callie and Arizona very briefly made eye contact before saying, "Fine!" in unison. Derek held out the folder he'd been carrying.

"It has the keys, directions on how to get there, information about the cabin, everything you need. Owen and Emma went out early this morning and already checked you in. They also went to stock the kitchen and put up a tree. You guys just need to pack and get on the road. Oh, and there's only one bedroom plus a loft with a bed." he added with that patented McDreamy smirk that Arizona found she wanted to slap off his face.

Callie snatched the folder out of Derek's hands and the two of them made their way to the locker room silently. As they changed, Arizona noted, "We're being punished. We're in trouble and as punishment, they're sending us into the middle of the woods."

"Can you blame them?" Callie scoffed. Arizona went to respond, but thought better of it and finished getting dressed so they could get on the road. If they finished packing quickly, they could eat lunch before they left and Sofia would hopefully sleep the whole drive.

* * *

Arizona pulled their car into the driveway and they both looked out the window at the cabin. Callie held up the brochure with the picture on it and said, "This is it."

She looked into the backseat at Sofia who was still sleeping soundly in her car seat. "Why don't we leave the car on and let her sleep for a few more minutes while we unload the car?" Sofia was the only thing they really agreed on these days, so Callie quickly nodded and they quietly got out to unload. Arizona stayed by the car unloading while Callie carried their bags up to the house just in case Sofia woke up. Once all the bags were out of the car, Arizona carefully unstrapped her sleeping baby and wrapped the blanket that was resting over her all around her to protect her from the cold as she walked up to the house.

Arizona immediately sought out the bedroom where she gently laid Sofia down on the bed to finish her nap. She was grateful that Owen and Emma had turned the heat on when they opened up the cabin that morning, so it was nice and toasty. Returning to the entryway, she found Callie still standing there, looking unsure of herself and what to do next.

"We should unpack this stuff," Arizona suggested. Callie, still resentful of having been sent into the middle of the wilderness, just rolled her eyes and reached for the closest bag.

They barely spoke as they unpacked and learned the layout of the house. From the door, there was a bedroom off to the left. Right off of the foyer was a living room, which hosted a large couch that spanned two sides of the room, with a loveseat covering the third. On the right wall was a fireplace. Behind the couch, up against a row of windows through which they could see a beautiful view, was a Christmas Tree, fully decorated and awaiting the arrival of presents. The kitchen was to the left, small but adequate. And above the bedroom was a loft, with access via a spiral staircase.

When they had finished putting everything away, they stood facing each other, each one wondering what to do next. Fortunately, before they were forced to decide, a confused, "Mama?" called out from the bedroom and the unmistakable sounds of Sofia sliding herself out of bed reached their ears.

They spent the rest of the day enjoying the extra time to shower Sofia with attention and Sofia was eating it up. True to their word, the kitchen was fully stocked and they made and ate a quick dinner.

After dinner, they grabbed some extra blankets out of the cabinet the folder indicated would have plenty. Then they snugged up all together on the couch under the largest one, with Sofia tucked in between her moms. They faced the roaring fire Callie had started for them just quietly enjoying their time together. She looked over to the Christmas tree, lit up now that the sun had set. Callie sighed and felt a little guilty seeing that. They hadn't set up their tree at home. It was still packed away in the storage unit with all their other Christmas decorations. Getting into the spirit of a family holiday when you're spending most of your days fighting with your wife was not easy.

They also hadn't made use of their fireplace all winter. Callie had almost forgotten how nice it could be just to sit by a fire and snuggle under a blanket with her girls. Sofia, exhausted from a day filled with excitement, was content to rest until she started to drift off to sleep. Noticing this, Arizona pulled the blanket off herself and scooped Sofia up into her arms. Then she offered the sleepy bundle down to Callie for good night kisses before heading back to the bedroom where Sofia had finished her nap earlier.

Even though she was exhausted, Sofia managed to protest heavily when her mama tried to put her down in the strange bed. "Nononono," she whined.

"Sofia, you need to go to bed. You need your rest," Arizona reminded her gently.

"No, Mama," Sofia replied. Her eyes darted around the unfamiliar room and she started to whimper. Noticing this, Arizona figured it wasn't the best idea to force her scared toddler to sleep in a strange room and she pulled Sofia back up into her chest.

"Okay. Why don't you come up and sleep with me and Mommy? How does that sound? We'll all go to bed if it's okay with your mommy." Sofia nodded her agreement into Arizona's neck as they walked back out to the couch, where Callie was folding up the blanket and placing it to hang over the back of the couch. "She won't sleep in the bedroom. It scared her. So I figured she could just sleep on the loft with us and that we'll go to bed with her so she won't be so scared, if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine." Callie said, grateful for the buffer. Arizona carefully climbed up the spiral staircase, followed by Callie, and put Sofia down on the bed. She pulled down the covers to allow Sofia to crawl under before settling in on one side while Callie settled in on the other. With the snow still falling, they quickly fell asleep all snuggled up together.

* * *

Things were less tense the next morning. They stayed snuggled up until Sofia declared her need to use the bathroom and eat. While Callie made breakfast for them, Arizona went to look outside only to discover that the overnight snowfall meant they weren't leaving any time soon, not that they were given much of a choice otherwise. Several inches had fallen overnight, covering the world outside in a blanket of white. Arizona found herself grateful that their friends had stocked the house so that they wouldn't need to go out for anything.

They found board games in the closet and took the opportunity to try to teach Sofia some of the more basic games, but she decided she'd rather make up her own rules and teach those to her moms (changing them every few minutes as her mood changed), forcing both of them to temper their need to be in control and allow their daughter to have fun on her own terms. It was a good day. Callie and Arizona even managed to flirt a little over Sofia's head and they made dinner together while Sofia tried to get her stuffed animals to follow her game.

At the end of the evening, they settled Sofia into bed with promises that there would be lots of fun for her tomorrow when she woke up. And once they were sure she was out (in the bedroom this time, not on the loft), they got to work. They put out the stockings, one for each of them, and lugged all of Sofia's gifts, which they'd discretely hidden in a second closet Callie had been grateful to find, to put them under the tree. Thanks to her father's unrelenting need to spoil his granddaughter and Arizona's parents trying to make up for not being able to come visit that year, Callie had to groan a little at the small mountain that awaited Sofia's attention come Christmas morning.

Once they were done assembling the gifts, Arizona moved to flop down on the couch. Callie quickly went to follow her, but as she rounded the couch, the tree caught her eye. Or rather, a specific ornament caught her eye. "This looks like the ornament we got from your parents last year," Callie said of the fire alarm ornament that The Colonel insisted on buying when he found out that they didn't have one already. Of course, he only gave it to them after giving them both a long speech about proper fire safety. She was about to dismiss it as a coincidence when her eyes caught another ornament, an ornament that was definitely hers. It hadn't even been originally meant to be an ornament. It was actually for the rearview mirror of a car, but Arizona had given it to her as an ornament, so an ornament it was. Callie smiled as that memory washed over her.

* * *

It was their first Christmas together. They hadn't even been together a full year, yet Callie knew they had something special, something worth fighting for. The plan had been for them to spend it together, as they did for most of their days off, but then Callie was on the schedule to work. Rather than let the disappointment show, Arizona had quickly suggested that they just do their Christmas a little early and Arizona could go to Meredith and Derek's big shindig so she wouldn't be alone while Callie worked. So on Christmas Eve, they woke up together in Callie's bed, ready to spend the day as if it were Christmas. They had decorated the tree and put a few present under it. Once they were awake, they made breakfast. Cristina crawled out of her room and, once she figured out what they were doing, stole some food on her way out the door.

After breakfast, they went to exchange gifts. Callie laughed in delighted confusion as she opened the gift Arizona had given her. It was bedazzled skull and crossbones hanging from a string. "It's for the tree!" Arizona declared. She had insisted that they buy a tree together when Callie confessed that she didn't have one.

"Arizona, this is for a car. You know, like the fuzzy dice? It's supposed to hang from the mirror," Callie teased.

"Oh." Arizona frowned before brightening back up, undeterred. "Well, I bought it for your tree, so I'm saying it's an ornament." With that, she took the trinket out of Callie's hands and picked a spot for it on the tree before spinning around and saying, "See? It works." She smiled and gave a little laugh as Callie pulled her into her arms, kissing her deeply. Arizona leaned into the kiss and patted herself on the back. Callie was obviously okay with her decision.

* * *

"Arizona," Callie called out as she pulled the skull off the tree. "I think this is OUR tree." Callie was shocked. How had their friends managed that?

"What? No, our tree is in our storage unit," Arizona insisted.

"They must have gone and gotten it, because there is no way two people on this planet are ridiculous enough to use this as an ornament," Callie said with a teasing lilt as she held out the skull for Arizona to see.

"Oh, my God. You're right." Choosing to ignore the playful jab, realization came over Arizona as she took a closer look at the tree and the ornaments started to jump out at her. She smiled as she noticed the ornament they'd gotten for Sofia's first Christmas, with her face, name, and the year on it. "She was so tiny then." Arizona's heart tugged when she thought of how Sofia wasn't so little anymore and how they were supposed to be expecting another tiny baby by this point.

After a little bit of searching, Arizona found the ornament from Sofia's second Christmas. Despite her objections to spending Christmas morning with Mark, his presence had definitely been missed as they celebrated their first Christmas after his death. Sofia had stopped looking for him, stopped asking about him and as much as Arizona had sometimes resented sharing her family with him, it saddened her to know that Sofia wouldn't remember her father. So they'd kept that Christmas simple, just the three of them, with Skype chats with Grandma and Grandpa and Abuelo, so they could see their granddaughter even though flying out to see the grandparents wasn't feasible.

"Hey, it's the one my dad sent after we got married!" Callie said joyfully as she pulled the bells off the tree. She'd been touched when she opened the package that had arrived two weeks after their wedding. Growing up, she'd always loved the bells that had her parents' names engraved, one on each side. And she was definitely surprised to discover that her dad had had two sets made with Callie and Arizona's names, one for their tree in Seattle and once for Callie's parents' tree. It was more than just acceptance. It was approval. It was belief that this was as permanent and real as his own marriage.

Arizona continued to look through the familiar ornaments, remembering all the good times they'd shared while putting them on the tree. Sofia had been big enough to help the year before and she had done so enthusiastically, giggling as she tangled herself in lights and hung shiny ornaments on the lowest branches of the tree. They hadn't made an active decision not to put their own tree up that year. They just hadn't done it. And now Arizona found herself disappointed that they hadn't had the opportunity to decorate it together, as they'd done every year prior. They'd had an ornament made with Sofia's picture, as they'd done every year, but that was as into the holiday spirit as any of them had gotten. Callie's laughter broke Arizona from her thoughts. "What?" Arizona asked as she turned her attention to her wife.

"Just thinking about things. Almost every ornament on this tree has a story behind it and I really like that." Callie and Arizona each had some ornaments they'd had since they were children that their parents had parted with when they started their own family. And they'd also have dozens they'd acquired since they started dating. And they didn't limit purchasing them to the holiday season. No, any time they found an ornament that fit them, they bought it and added it to their collection. And now, despite this only being their fifth Christmas since they'd begun dating, they had enough ornaments to fill the tree they'd bought their first year together. "Like this one, I bought for you because I found out just how terrible you are at softball, despite the stereotype." Callie fondled the plastic softball player with one hand and tucked the hair behind Arizona's ear with the other. "My parents' tree is professionally decorated every year and it looks beautiful, but I like that we can look at almost any ornament on this tree and say how and when we got it."

"Like your skull and crossbones," Arizona agreed. "And all the ornaments with Sofia. It's kind of crazy how quickly we went from having no ornaments to having a whole tree's worth."

"Yeah," Callie agreed. "We really do have quite the collection. Eventually, we'll have to make some choices about which ones go on the tree."

"Or we could just get two trees," Arizona joked. "I mean, with the amount of gifts your father gets Sofia, we'll need the extra space …" Arizona let her thought trail off there, not wanting to spoil what had been a good day by opening the can of worms that was that discussion. The comment settled between them for a long, heartbreaking silence as they both grieved, together, but separately

"Do you - do you want to exchange gifts now so we only have Sofia's to do in the morning?" Callie suggested, giving them both an out.

"You want to exchange gifts now?" Arizona asked, still unsure of whether or not she was ready. Her gift for Callie had been burning a hole in her pocket since she'd purchased it three weeks prior, but that didn't mean she was ready for Callie to have it. But if Callie was ready, maybe she was, too.

"Might as well, right? Then we can just relax and enjoy Sofia seeing all of her presents for the first time." If Callie was going to have her gift rejected, she certainly didn't want to do it in front of their daughter.

"Sure, sure," Arizona said, still only mostly convinced that this was a good idea.

Parting, they both found their carefully wrapped packages hidden amongst their luggage. When they reunited, they were both so nervous about their presents that neither noticed that the other was nervous as well.

"So, do you want to go first?" Callie suggested, trying to delay giving her gift for as long as possible.

"Right. Okay," Arizona reluctantly agreed, trying to keep the trepidation out of her voice. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pushed the small box out of her own hands and into Callie's.

Callie slowly shifted the box from one hand to the other and back. Then she tugged the bow off and stuck it to her own shirt, her heart aching for a time when she would have playfully affixed the bow to Arizona's forehead. Next, she pulled at one of the flaps, delicately undoing it in a way that didn't rip the paper. She went for the second flap, but her impatience got the better of her and she ripped the rest of the paper off in a heartbeat. Underneath the paper was a velvet necklace-sized box. Jewelry. Callie smiled. Arizona had loved buying Callie all kinds of jewelry since they'd first begun dating. It was nice to know that some things hadn't changed.

Callie opened the box and gasped in awe of the necklace's beauty. The chain was a little longer than that of the heart necklace Arizona had given her for their first Valentine's Day. Hanging from the chain were three little drops. Callie looked at them and immediately recognized her own birthstone along with Arizona's and Sofia's: moonstone, topaz, and emerald respectively. It also didn't escape Callie's notice that each stone was an individual unit, with a clasp to allow each one to be added individually, leaving room for others to be added later if they needed. It gave Callie hope that even though they weren't ready right away, Arizona was open to the idea of continuing to grow their family. With tears in her eyes, Callie pulled Arizona into a deep hug. She pressed her face into Arizona's neck, took a breath, and declared, "I love it."

"I was talking to the jeweler about having a necklace made for you and she suggested this and I just loved the symbolism of it. Each drop is its own unit and apart, they're fragile, but put together on the necklace, they're much stronger and I thought that that's just like our family. We're stronger and better together than we are -" The rest of her ramble was cut off by Callie's lips briefly meeting her own.

"It's beautiful, Arizona. I love it," Callie assured her as she pulled back. "Will you put it on for me?"

Arizona nodded and took the necklace in her hands, waiting for Callie to hold up her own hair before pulling the necklace around her wife's neck and clasping it and then allowing it to drop to hang as intended around her neck, bringing her fingers down with it, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"Do you want to open yours now?" Callie asked, finally finding her voice after her heart rate slowed back down.

Arizona nodded eagerly and Callie turned around to hand it to her. Callie watched in agony as Arizona meticulously unwrapped it without ripping any of the paper. Callie cursed Arizona's military upbringing as she waited for what felt like an eternity before Arizona finally freed the box from its wrappings. Callie's heart felt like it would beat out of her chest as Arizona opened the box and pulled out the bracelet. It looked almost like a watch, with a thick band, but instead of a watch face, it had a compass embedded in it.

"It's engraved on the inside. It's the coordinates to the apartment. And there's a compass so you can always find your way home." Callie's eyes darted between Arizona's eyes and the bracelet before settling on the latter. "Not that we'll live there forever, but I figured that no matter where we live, it'll always be our home in some way. I mean, it's the first place we lived together, the first place we loved together. The first time we said we loved each other, it happened there. When our daughter was born, it was her first home. We have years of memories all stored up in that apartment. It's not just some place we lived. It'll be a part of our story, no matter how long it has been since it's been a part of our daily lives, long after we move out." Callie stopped her little speech and looked up to see Arizona staring as her, mouth open with tears in her eyes. "You don't like it." Callie deflated. "I can take it back. I'll get you something else." Callie reached out to take the bracelet back, but Arizona snapped out of her daze just in time to curl her fingers around her present and pull it into her chest.

"What? No, I love it," Arizona protested.

"But you're crying," Callie pointed out skeptically.

"Because I love it so much. Callie, it's beautiful. Can you put it on me?" She held out the bracelet and positioned her hand so Callie could clasp the bracelet around her wrist, asking her to return the intimate gesture Arizona had just done minutes before. Callie looked at Arizona skeptically, but complied, clasping the bracelet and then pulling Arizona's hand up to her mouth, kissing her palm. When Arizona smiled brightly, Callie relaxed and without thinking, pulled her into a hug. After a few minutes, Callie pulled back far enough to look into Arizona's eyes. Without any conversation, when they leaned back in, their lips were joined. After the first few seconds, Arizona moved her hands up to thread her fingers through Callie's hair. Callie responded by moving her hands in the opposite direction, cupping Arizona's ass and pulling her up into the kiss. That was a new step for them since their reconciliation. Sure, they'd had several intense makeout sessions, but their hands had always been limited to heads and shoulders or down at their waists. Arizona moaned at the contact and deepened the kiss.

With the fire roaring in the background, the Christmas tree brightly lit, Callie couldn't help but feel as if this moment were from some cheesy romance novel. What really brought those thoughts about was Arizona in her arms, willingly, moaning into her mouth, pale hands roaming first over her clothes and then she felt soft fingers slowly brushing against the skin of her stomach. And the thoughts of being stuck in the middle of such a silly scene right out of a Harlequin novel flew out of her head as those fingers brushed the underside of her bra covered breast.

Pulling back with slight trepidation, the playful twinkle in Arizona's eyes gave her all the confirmation she needed. Releasing the taut muscles of Arizona's ass to remove her wife's blouse, Callie's wrists were caught in one strong hand as the grin across Arizona's face told her who was in charge. And it was not her. Giving up control wasn't something that easy to Callie, not here anymore anyway. Such a vulnerable act came with trust, having it and giving it away, and she knew in that moment, the silent questioning look from her wife, that there were no doubts in her mind. Reservations flew out the window as she nodded, her own goofy grin mirroring that of her wife's. And without another moment passing, she found her shirt being thrown across the room and out of the corner of her eye, she swore it landed on the Christmas tree, but as Arizona's hands cupped her breasts, thumbs teasing her pebbled nipples through the satin of her bra, all thoughts but those of the feel of her wife finally touching her, vanished.

"Did you see how close the next cabin was when we drove in?" There was a glint in Arizona's eyes that Callie hadn't seen in way too long and she was drowning in the joy of its return.

Still staring at her wife, Callie finally registered that words were spoken. "What?"

"Cabins, did you see any others when we drove in?" She asked again.

"Oh, no. The brochure even said ..." But before Callie could finish her thoughts, lips sought out hers again as Arizona reached around, releasing the confines of her bra, her breasts falling freely into awaiting hands. "That the closest cabin ..." She got more words in as Arizona's lips roamed her jawline, peppering wet kisses in their wake. "... was a good five miles ..." Callie moaned as lips attached themselves right below her pulsepoint, nibbling and nipping, "away." She finished as Arizona pinched her pert nipples between each index finger and thumb before pulling away and pushing Callie backwards onto the couch below.

"Good." She smiled. "I don't have to worry about anybody seeing us." She looked over at the big bay windows before returning her attention to her wife.

Callie had just barely hit the couch before the snap of her jeans flew open and her pants were recklessly tugged down her legs only to be halted at her ankles as Arizona gave up the fight of getting either her wife's boots off or the jeans over them.

Laughing at her wife's shenanigans and the subsequent growl they brought, Callie leaned back on her elbows to watch the show. It didn't matter how exposed and vulnerable she currently was because somewhere in the evening, they'd found something they'd lost in each other but it didn't occur to either wife. They were just them. And when Arizona crawled on top of her wife, kissing her stomach, leaving a trail up toward each breast, slowly and expertly taking each nipple into her mouth and teasing them until they were so pleasurably rock hard they could cut glass, any reservations were a thing of the past.

Taking her wife's mouth with her own, Arizona skipped over slow and passionate for messy and passionate and needy. And Callie wasn't complaining because with her wife's thigh pressed tightly against her burning and throbbing center, her nipples now rubbing against Arizona, her arms wrapped tight pulling her harder into her, Callie didn't care how they were going to do this; she just wanted it. And badly. She wanted to feel Arizona under her hands, wetness coating her fingertips and eventually the lingering taste of her wife on her lips.

"No," Arizona ordered as Callie began fumbling with the button of her pants and again with one hand, grabbed both wrists, securing them over Callie's head until she complied and wrapped her hands around the arm of the couch.

As badly as Callie wanted Arizona, Arizona's need was at minimum two times her wife's. She'd been home for weeks. They'd been sharing their bed for just under that. She'd stood by in silence and watched Callie nervously change in front of her or race in and out of the shower barely showing any skin at all. And Arizona missed her wife. It wasn't just about the sex but the connection. And they were going to make that connection again.

Grabbing her wife's earlobe with her teeth, gently sucking, Arizona traced the wet trail of kisses back down her wife's body until she reached an immeasurable amount of heat and wetness. God, she'd missed this. The whimpers coming from Callie only encouraged her to move faster. Fuck and please left her wife's mouth in pleas and begs. The thought that maybe they should take this slow, reacquaint, crossed her mind for a moment. But the thrill of taking Callie, of her wife giving that to her was almost consuming. It was more than the slow embrace of passion would ever be because Callie was left bare in so many senses of the word that this was the best Christmas gift she'd ever unwrapped, in theory, under the tree.

Loud moans filled her ears as her fingers found Callie's throbbing clit, circling expertly around the pulsing nerve, bringing Callie the perfect pleasure. Her mouth and tongue were one thing, pressed intimately against Callie's clit, pulling it in and sucking hard. Flicking with need and experience only Arizona had with Callie's body. But sometimes even a gentle touch could count Callie out for hours afterward, oversensitive stimulation that could and would often cause an explosion of a climax before her wife was down and out. And sometimes, that's what she needed, direct clitorial contact. Rubbing hard and fast, wetness spilling out around her hand, Callie screaming in pleasure, angry red claw marks painting Arizona's back, dirty talk begging for deep fingers and quick fucking and more, always more. But Arizona wanted this to last tonight because she planned on more than one round. And as her fingers circled, pulling more and more wetness with them, she could feel the quick building of Callie's orgasm. The body beneath her was stiff, even with the restrictions of the jeans around her ankles, Callie's knees raised in anticipation. So Arizona slowed down, just a tiny bit. And when Callie's hands left the arm of the couch, she leaned forward, trapping them back down, using her good knee to support her body, she laughed, her head dipping down to capture Callie's lips, her tongue giving no wait and invading her wife's mouth. Moans filled her mouth as she started to work faster again, rubbing that spot that drove Callie right there but not over, she could feel breasts rubbing her own clothed chest. Callie's hips raised for more contact and as her fingers traced lower, she pulled Callie's bottom lip deep into her mouth, two fingers quickly entering her, pulling out on Callie's deep moan and a third added on re-entry, this time eliciting a loud moan of pleasure at being filled so fully, so perfectly.

Releasing the lip with a bite and a pop, Arizona stayed hovering over Callie's face, forehead against forehead, her breath mixing with Callie's, eyes locked as she filled her wife over and over again. The wrists that she held down over Callie's head wiggled until the fingers on Callie's hands found her wife's, lacing them together, connecting them deeper.

Each thrust was met with eager hips, walls tightening on her fingers, bring them deeper and deeper. And she begged for more, begged for release. Callie was so close. The fingers driving her higher and higher filled her perfectly and she wasn't sure she'd ever been so wet in her entire life or so full. Feeling complete, more complete than she'd felt in a long time, tears escaped, down both temples they fell; tears of joy and satisfaction, and the thrill of impending release.

Seeing this, Arizona knew it was time, tightening her hold of her wife's hands, fingers tightly laced in hers, her thumb found direct contact with Callie's throbbing and swollen clit. She pressed down hard, her fingers pushing deep inside, curling into her wife's softness, that perfect spot that she knew so well and as her thumb, keeping the same pressure, began circling, within moments Callie's pants turned into screams, wetness escaping past Arizona's fingers, which were being squeezed in a vice-like grip. But before she could wake their daughter, Arizona swallowed the sounds, kissing her deeply as she climaxed violently and hard.

But she didn't stop, she wanted to hear it again, to feel it again. So Arizona, tightening her hold on her wife's hands, giving her no room to move or fight, using her hips, she started long, deep thrusts. Her thumb flicked hard against Callie's clit, racing her from one orgasm to another. She could feel the wetness soaking through her own pants both from Callie and of her own and that only drove her faster and harder.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh god, fuck!" Callie cried into her open mouth.

"Again," Arizona whispered against Callie's lips. "For me, again," She begged, needing it just a much as her wife.

The quiet need in Arizona's voice, the feel of her so deep, their hearts beating against each other and Callie exploded harder and bigger this time only moments between climaxes. As their tongues tangled in a deep and passionate kiss, her wrists released, Callie pulled Arizona down until she was flush against her body. Kisses ranging between deep and passion-filled to nips and gentle bites, smiles perking the corners of their lips, they lay like that for a few minutes. Callie was holding tightly to the woman above her, Arizona's arms, now both free, cupping her wife's face.

"Callie?" Arizona leaned back until she was straddling her wife's hips.

"Hmm?" Slightly zoned out, Callie looked up at her wife's grin.

Without verbally answering, she took Callie's hand and placed it on between her legs on her clothed, wet, throbbing crotch. Callie could feel the heat and wetness coming through the jeans, her eyes lighting up in response. Pushing her hand against the tight material, Arizona gasped at the contact. Leaning forward, Callie's hand still pressed against her, she nipped at her lips. "Bed," she ordered. "I'm surprised Sofia didn't wake up from you. I am not risking it again." She smiled, climbing off her wife and heading for the stairs to the loft.

She was two thirds of the way up the spiral staircase when Callie finally freed herself from the jeans around her ankles, boots and pants flying in many directions. By the time she hopped her way over and raced upstairs, her wife was completely naked, her own clothes left in a trail toward the bed. Callie's mouth watered as she took in the sight before her, Arizona Robbins, 100% in the vulnerable, spread eagle, wetness, a lot of wetness dripping from her lips. "Merry Christmas," Arizona whispered, emotion choking her voice as she trailed a finger through her wetness, up her stomach, between the valley of her perfect breasts, and into her mouth. And Callie was a goner. In less than two steps, she joined her wife on the bed.

Crawling up the bed and settling between Arizona's legs, Callie's naked body pressed her into the softness of the mattress, the feel of body women connecting on this level almost consuming.

"Hey," she whispered as their hands roamed bare flesh, reacquainting with the other's body for the first time all over again.

"Hey," Arizona responded shyly.

It was obvious that the time for quick and dirty had passed and this moment was all about them, playing their bodies like only the other knew how.

"I missed this," Callie whispered, her voice still low and full of emotion. "I missed you," she corrected because it wasn't about the sex. It was about being so intimately connected to her wife and it had been far too long.

"Show me." She choked on her own emotions.

Callie didn't need any other words. Her lover's eyes spoke volumes to what their mouths hadn't yet been able to voice. Leaning forward, she captured Arizona's mouth, this time with slow burning passion leading them, controlling them. Their bodies moved against each other, hands holding tightly, afraid if they let go, the other would vanish. Limbs tangled together as the feel of body against body, soul reaching out for soul, took over, pushing them together as one, breaking down walls and barriers standing too long between. And as Arizona's fingers tangled in her wife's hair, Callie slowly inched down her body, peppering kisses wherever her lips could find untouched skin. She took a few moments lavishing her undivided attention on each breast, sucking each nipple deep into her mouth, teasing the tip with her tongue. The small moans of approval escaping between pants and pleas filled her once again with the confidence she thought was long gone. Needing more, she left behind two very peaked nipples and made her way further down, but the feel of the loss had her returning. She loved the feel of them against her lips, how they rolled over her tongue, the gasps that left her wife's mouth as she captured them, tugging and biting down gently. She couldn't get enough of them and had gone far too long without them. Arizona didn't seem to be complaining as she gently applied pressure to Callie's head, silently begging for more. And that's what she got as Callie took as much of her breast in her mouth as she could, sucking hard until Arizona cried out. Repeating the actions with the other breast, Callie was satisfied with her wife's responses and began heading back to her goal, their prize.

And as she reached the apex of Arizona's thighs, Callie traced her tongue from hip to hip, teasing and torturing her wife above. Loving the reactions, the sounds spilling out, the moans panting and filling the air, Callie repeated her path once more, dipping slightly lower this time when she reached the middle.

Fingers tightened in her hair as her tongue found wetness just above the throbbing pulse of Arizona's swollen bundle of nerves. The taste was everything she remembered and so much more and she couldn't get enough. Purposely avoiding any direct contact, wanting to draw this out for as long as possible, Callie trailed her tongue very lightly through the wetness that lay just on the top of Arizona's lips. Her hips bucked forward as her hands tried desperately to lead Callie where she wanted her most, but at the same time, she had never felt more loved and cherished as her wife made love to her like it was their first time. Her tongue traced up and down, licking up the wetness, filling her mouth with the taste she never wanted to be without again. She gently kissed each lip, pulling each one into her mouth, sucking it clean. Dipping just below her heated center, taking an abundance of wetness into her mouth, her tongue, just the tip, entering just enough to drive Arizona wild before she moved upward in crazy patterns, bringing pleasure in waves. And as Arizona pulled her hair, she pressed her lips against her clit, kissing it before sucking it deeply into her mouth.

Arizona cried out in relief as Callie made love to her. No longer needing to guide her wife but needing to feel her in every way possible, she sought out Callie's hand with her own until their fingers were woven together in one. Squeezing her wife's hand, Callie's tongue moved expertly across her clit. It found the spots that drove Arizona higher and higher as if there hadn't been a loss of time between. Cries and moans fueled her need to drag it out, knowing it was she who was making Arizona cry. She who was in complete control. Callie who was between her wife's legs. She wanted to live there forever. So she focused on driving her wife up and up and when she felt tensing, she'd return to the gentle explorations, licking up the wetness she was the cause of, passionately kissing every available inch of skin; Callie was making love to her wife and she wasn't going to stop until Arizona was shown just how much she loved her.

It wasn't about foreplay, Arizona wasn't begging to be filled or fucked. It was about their connection and though she begged for more, it wasn't to reach the end, it was to reach deep within each other. Vulnerabilities aside, fears released, love the sole emotion left behind.

And as Callie held Arizona in her free hand as if she were a chalice, sipping the finest of wines with delicate and gentle care, thighs that had moments before spread as far apart and open in invitation as one could be, lay over Callie's shoulders. It was a moment of freedom for both and Callie, feeling more confident than ever, plunged her tongue deep inside her wife.

They both groaned. Loudly. Arizona at being so perfectly filled in the most perfect of ways and Callie for being filled with the perfect taste in the most perfect of ways. And she couldn't get enough. She couldn't hold back.

Letting go of her wife's hand, she wrapped her hands around her wife's thighs and held on tight and she drove her tongue deeper. She was exploring her walls, rubbing her tongue against the softness, drinking in the arousal that she was the cause of.

Arizona's hips stayed in speed with Callie's tongue, her own hands now playing and pulling at her nipples as arousal peaked to new record heights. She was completely, unabashedly into this, no reservations. And she begged for more, incoherent babbles, curses of joy, wetness overflowing. She was breathing heavily, heavier and heavier as the minutes went on. Both of them knew how close she was, Arizona's head thrashing, her thighs now tight against Callie's shoulders, pinning her down. Her body was glowing and she was beautiful and Callie was sure she'd never seen anybody so beautiful in her entire life. She'd never been so aroused and satisfied at the same time before.

So much was happening and her tongue kept filling her wife, pleasurable for both of them and she couldn't control herself, so she let go of Arizona's thigh, her hand pushing under her body. Coming into direct contact with her own clit, Callie briefly stopped to moan out loud, her eyes momentarily rolling back before her hand sped up and she returned to the feast in front of her.

Seeing this, Arizona almost came on the spot. As Callie's tongue resumed filling her, she could see her wife's hips riding her hand, she could feel the moans against her sex. And she couldn't help it. Without asking, she too found her clit and began rubbing against herself. It was the most connected they'd been in ages, they were feeling themselves, feeling each other, bringing the other to the point of no return because of each other. Her fingers moved quickly as she watched her wife's body moving, shaking. She wanted to come with Callie or as close together as possible. And when Callie looked up realizing her wife was fingering her own clit, she went to be insulted, she went to be upset, but the glint of tears in Arizona's eyes as she drove herself forward stopped her.

"Don't stop," Arizona choked out. "I want to …" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I want to come with you. Because of you. Please, don't stop," she begged, cut off by her own moans as she got closer and closer to the edge.

Obeying her wife's request, Callie returned, her tongue giving Arizona everything she had. And as she filled her wife, licking deep, thrusting hard, her own body riding her own hand hard and fast, Arizona rubbing quickly, Callie felt on fire. Arizona felt on fire. Legs tensed around her, Arizona screamed out. Screamed out as her body exploded, her fingers unable to stop, they kept rubbing, circling, extending her climax as Callie drank it all in. Her body was violently shaking under Callie, her hips pressing her against Callie's mouth, Callie's hand directly connected, flicking hard against her own throbbing and when Arizona didn't think she could go on any longer, Callie cried out, thrusting her tongue so deep in reaction to her orgasm, the vibrations exploded through Arizona and she came again, riding out her climax with her wife's.

Collapsing, her arms dead weights at her sides, Arizona lay panting, trying desperately to calm her heart, to slow her breathing. It wasn't helping that Callie was licking up every drop of arousal left over, gently taking wonderful care of her because she was so filled with emotion, she couldn't control anything.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she felt her wife crawling up her body, as Callie pressed against her, their still swollen clits rubbing together, Arizona gasped at the connection. They should have been wiped. Done. Finished. Dead. But the electricity that shot through them both brought them back to life. Slowly Callie moved against Arizona, their wetness, hers soaking through to her wife's, giving them the perfect lubrication. And with each gentle thrust, each time their clits met in an intimate dance, they gasped out loud.

Callie could feel Arizona still throbbing and she couldn't stop. Straddling her hips, she positioned herself perfectly to ride the other. It wasn't going to take long, for either of them. Staring deep into Arizona's eyes, she made sure they connected with each thrust down. Over and over again, she rode her wife, their connection unbreakable as their most intimate parts danced together, brought each other pleasure, broke through the last barriers. Faster she rode as her stomach knotted and her clit ached for release and once again, she exploded, drenching her wife with her arousal. And as Arizona felt the wet warmth flood over her, Callie's body twitching above her, the moans of release, the cries of passion, she followed her wife, pushing her hips up and holding tight against her wife's as she came, hard, again.

Neither spoke as Callie crawled up and pulled her wife into her arms. They'd said enough with their bodies for the moment. They'd do a lot of reconnecting in a lot of ways and emotions were probably running high for both of them since they knew they were running high for themselves. And it felt right, just laying with the other. It felt as if no time had passed. Except it had and Callie needed to know if this was a reconnection or a goodbye. She had to know. As much as she wanted to ignore the elephant in the room, enjoy what they'd just share for what it was, she didn't know what it was, at least for Arizona. For Callie, it was everything she'd missed and never wanted to be without again and she didn't mean the sex. So she sucked it up and risked ruining a perfectly good moment.

"So, we were sent here with a purpose," Callie pointed out. "They said we either had to fix it or get divorced." Arizona tensed in her arms at those words. When Callie didn't continue, Arizona pulled herself forward out of Callie's embrace.

"Oh, um, yeah," she said as she continued to inch herself away, stretching her neck out to see over the edge of the bed to find her clothes. She located her panties and reached her arm out to snag them and pull them back on.

"What are you doing?" Callie sat up, letting the covers fall off her, but then tugging them back up to cover her exposed chest.

"I'm getting dressed." Arizona reached down again for a new shirt, but found it tugged from her grasp.

"No, you're not," Callie said. "You're trying to leave. You are afraid of the conversation we're about to have, so you're going to put your clothes back on and then you'll pretend to hear Sofia even though we both know there's no way she's awake right now." Arizona shrunk back, embarrassed at being called out for her actions. "Arizona, why are you so scared?"

Arizona stayed quiet for a few minutes as she thought about it. She knew why she was scared. She had screwed up. She was the one who broke things. So if Callie said she was done, that was it. Arizona had no (metaphorical) leg to stand on. She'd just have to lie back and take it. And she was scared that Callie was about to tell her that despite the events of the last two days, she was done. They were done. And Arizona just knew it would kill her to hear that, so she was pulling away, trying to take out the sting she was already feeling. She also had the fear that Callie would never be okay with her as she is now. That Callie would spend the rest of their lives trying to make her back into the old Arizona rather than accepting the new Arizona the way Arizona herself had. Callie's huge heart was in the right place, but so terribly misguided. So she knew why she was scared, but she couldn't tell Callie that. She'd spent months not telling Callie that.

"Okay. Whatever you were just thinking, I need to hear that," Callie's voice broke into Arizona's thoughts.

"What?"

"Your face just crinkled in that way it does when you've figured something out. Whatever you figured out, I need you to share it with me." Callie's voice was even and patient. Despite this, Arizona couldn't believe that sharing her fear would go the way she wanted this conversation to go.

"I can't."

"You can. It's just you and me here. We're in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Whatever happens here can be left here or we can take it back home with us. But I know one thing: we aren't going to make it if you're scared that if you say something, the world is going to end. I don't want you to be scared." Arizona hadn't noticed it, but as she spoke, Callie had moved in closer and her hands had moved down to the elastic band just below Arizona's waist. Once she knew that she had Arizona's attention, she pushed the fabric down Arizona's legs until she was naked once more. And she pulled Arizona up onto her side so they were face to face. "Be vulnerable. It's okay to share your fears with me. I'm sorry I haven't always been the best about sharing your burdens, but I know now that the only way we have a chance in hell is if we work on those problems. Now can you tell me why you're scared?"

Arizona brought her hand up to Callie's hip, placing it in a mirror of Callie's. "Do you think you can love the new me?" She whispered.

Callie tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean the new you?"

"I mean the amputee who is okay with being an amputee. Who looks in the mirror and sees herself instead of some deformed freak. Who walks with a hitch in her step that becomes more pronounced as she gets tired and the day wears on, but who deals with it because it's a part of her life and she knows that she has limitations now. Who uses her handicap placard at the grocery store rather than parking in the back and ensuring that by the time she gets to the store, she's too exhausted to shop. Who doesn't need her wife to keep trying to make her a leg like the one she lost, because she is an amputee and that is okay. She is a whole person even without a leg." Arizona tried to look down as she finished speaking, but Callie's hand came up from her hip to cup her cheek and pull her back up.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Callie whispered, ashamed that she hadn't noticed that somewhere along the line, Arizona had stopped trying to go back and was instead moving forward.

"I was scared. I know how hard you've been working on this project, but to me, it's like you're saying that new Arizona isn't good enough and you're still fighting for old Arizona to come back. She's gone, Callie. I can't bring her back. So I need to know if you can love new Arizona, because she's the one you have here."

"Arizona, of course I love you. I love you just as you are. I would love you if you had no legs. I just thought you'd appreciate it if I tried to make your life easier. I know your leg hurts you and I know it's frustrating for you when you can't do things you used to because of it."

"But Callie, part of my recovery was accepting that this is my life now. And if medical advancements are made that can improve the quality of my life, that is great, but I can't handle you depending on them. I have to know that you'll be okay if this is how it is for me for the rest of my life." Arizona moved her thumb to rub back and forth as she spoke.

Callie brought her other hand up so that she was holding Arizona's face in both hands. "I. Love. You." Callie assured her. "I loved you before. I love you now. You're right that you're not the woman I married, but I'm not the woman you married either. We have both changed. But I love you. I loved you before and I love you the way you are now."

"Okay," Arizona said quietly. "Okay." She looked down, glad that that was settled, but still trying to work up the nerve to approach the second concern.

"There's more. I know there's more." There would be no more pretending not to notice when Arizona has something to say without sharing it. "Say it, Arizona." Callie herself began to panic. Did Arizona not want this? Did she not want them?

"Do you want to be done?" Arizona burst out. She backpedaled a little and said, "You said that they told us to fix it or get divorced. And I just have to know what you want."

"Do you want to get divorced?" Callie asked, her panic increasing.

"No! I want to fix this. I just feel like you have all the power here. If you say it's done, I just have to take it and leave. I go back to be alone and getting half the time with my daughter that I should."

"Arizona," Callie said, shaking her head. "That is NOT going to happen. And anyway, I could say the same about you. If you decide to leave, I have no way to keep you here either. That's how marriage works. It's based on trust. I trust that you'll come home at the end of the day. I trust that every Thursday, you'll remember to write the check for the day care. I trust that whatever's happening between us, you're committed to Sofia and to making sure she's loved and cared for. And I trust that if you're having problems, you'll come to me instead of going elsewhere." It wasn't an accusation. It was just Callie's way of saying that they would never go through all that again. "We have both made mistakes. And we're done going back to that. I'm not saying that everything is somehow okay now, but we're on a good path now. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I don't want to fight over taking out the trash or what we eat for dinner. I want to flirt and order pizza and make love and enjoy our life together and not waste time fighting over things that don't matter."

"I want that, too." Arizona pushed herself closer to Callie so that their breasts were touching. "So we've fixed things?"

"As much as they're going to get fixed for now. We'll work on the rest as it comes," Callie promised.

"Does that mean we have to go home tomorrow? Because I've kind of gotten used to having you and Sofia all to myself."

Callie laughed and said, "They paid for four days. It would be a shame to let that go to waste. We'll just pretend it took us four days to work it out and we'll go home after Christmas. Besides, we're snowed in anyway."

Now it was Arizona's turn to laugh. Yes, they had gotten a bunch of snow, but it had already started to melt and the roads would probably be clear enough that they could drive home in the morning if they wanted. But she was okay with using that excuse to have an extra day alone with her girls.


End file.
